20 Things I Learned in My 20s
1) Be true to yourself!
I know it sounds corny but it’s so true. I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now having met everyone’s expectations except my own. My life is just that – mine!
2) Appreciate the journey
I spent so much of my twenties focusing on what’s next. Time flew by and there were so many magical moments that I think on and make my heart skip a beat now, but I overlooked at that time. I wish that I had paused to take it all own instead of worrying. You ever work hard to accomplish something and end up feeling a bit underwhelmed? Spoiler – the beauty is in the journey not the destination.
3) Be careful with your credit
Maybe get one store credit card to build your credit, but don’t be like me and get them all. LOL! What you so effortlessly get yourself into now will take way longer to undo later.
4) Invest in yourself
The greatest accomplishments of my 20s were the investments I made in myself. Working to build my career, shed unwanted weight, get my MBA, and change my diet (I’m pescatarian) helped me get closer to becoming the women I wanted to be – the woman I am. You will never regret the things you do to become a better you.
5) Know your boundaries and exercise them!
I am someone who likes to be in control, but somehow, I failed to exercise that when it came to my interactions with others. While I could not control whether someone respected my needs and well-being, I could control how I interacted with them or whether they were in my life at all. Identify your boundaries in all situations (work, romance, friendships and family), communicate them, and accept nothing less.
6) Take risks
Nothing worth having comes easy! To get something new you have to do something that you haven’t done before and sometimes that can be a bit scary. May it will pay off, maybe it won’t. Either way be proud that you stepped out in faith and at minimum you will likely learn something new.
7) Embrace fear
I don’t get fearful often, but it typically creeps in when I’m way out of my comfort zone. I’ve learned that success, growth, change, and progress rarely come in the absence of fear and discomfort. I’ll take sweaty palms over stagnation any day.
8) Find your tribe
This thing called life is hard ya’ll and you don’t want to go at it alone. Be intentional about building your circle and being a good friend. Don’t let “loyalty” keep you around people who drain your spirit. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Do the math sis! My circle is there for the good and the bad. They push me and comfort me. Together we pray, together we slay. Okkurrr!
9) Be grateful
This is an obvious one, but sometimes we forget. Yes, things could be better but they could also be worse. There have been so many days were my discontent transformed to gratefulness when I paused to realize where I am now is where I once prayed to be.
10) Your timeline is trash
LOL! It’ll happen when it happens. The End.
11) He ain’t worth it sis!
Not your joy, your happiness, your health, your tears, your coint, YOUR TIME. Now this doesn’t apply to every man you encounter but it you have to think about it…
12) Date around
In the words of my good sis Meg, “Handle me? Who gone handle me? Thinkin' he's a player, he's a member on the team.” Now I ain’t saying you got to have a hot girl summer, but definitely multi-date and keep your options open. Looking back- I’ve learned so much about myself and what I want in a relationship through the guys I’ve dated. That process would have gone a lot faster had I kept more than one player on the roster.
13) You are enough!
Nothing else needs to be said.
14) Always have a hobby
It doesn’t have to be anything out of the box, but find something you enjoy and dedicate time to it. I’ve been into cooking, home décor, baking and now I’m giving blogging a shot 😊
15) Care for your body and health
It is easy to neglect this when you’re in your prime but if you know like I know, you will prioritize your health and wellness. When you start creeping up on 30 those body aches hit a little different. Simple poor habits can have long term effects. Take care of your body – you only get one.
16) Love on your parents
As we get older so do they. We tend to get busy and wrapped up in our own lives, spending less time with our parents. This is especially challenging if you don’t live near them, but I am pushing myself to make more time for family in this next decade.
17) Be Patient
Be patient with yourself, your circumstances and those around you. There is consideration and grace in patience. You deserve that and so do your family and friends. Give things room to be what they are and become what they are meant to be.
18) Trouble don’t last always
Can I get a witness!? Yes, Rev. Timothy Wright is playing in my head right now. Ya’ll whatever you’re going through know that it won’t always be that way. I stand on the other side of many challenges and difficult circumstances that I once faced. Change is inevitable and your struggles are not exempt from that concept.
19) Enjoy yourself
Live, Laugh, Love! YOLO! I’m definitely leaving this terminology behind in my 20s but at end of the day have fun and make the most of every moment.
20) Love your differences
We’re not all supposed to be the same. Yes, your hair is different. Your body is different. So is your mind, background, approach, desires, path, passions, timeline, and definition of success. You are unique in every way and that is ok! It’s actually more than ok – it’s perfect and so are you as you are. Have the audacity to be you!
XOXO Shay
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